This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
