So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
