are you still at the devil's house?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went