What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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