I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
