I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
