Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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