its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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