Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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