shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
