Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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