Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
