Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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