I don't think brook has ever known best
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
