you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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