oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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