STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
