ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
