Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
