i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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