State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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