Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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