I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
