His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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