Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
