i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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