My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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