Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
