There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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