so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
