They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
