i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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