my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize