i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do vagina's smell?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
