Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The struggles of a small town man whore
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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