on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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