She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
