just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
