Me too!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
