New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
