Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
