She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
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Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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