you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
