no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
