i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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