So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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