Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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