I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I would fuck him just for his dog
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
its liver damage thursday
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
