At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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