Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
