I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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