I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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