So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm like, not good at living.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
