They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
