dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
