This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
