the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize