But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
